Bishop and the Ass

Bishop and the Ass

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that
there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse
and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for
horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.

He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races.
To his surprise, the donkey came in third!
The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.
 
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won.
The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher
not to enter the donkey in another race.
The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher
to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
 
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey,
so she sold it to a farmer  for $10.00.
The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00.
 
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey,
Lead it to the plains, and let it go.
Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day

Mandela vs Bush

Mandela is enjoying a hearty breakfast - bacon, eggs, coffee,  croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc. when Bush, chewing gum, sits next to him and starts a conversation:
 
Bush: "You South Africans eat the whole bread?"
Mandela: "Of course."

Bush (blowing bubble with his gum): "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,  recycle, re-bake  them into croissants and sell them to South Africa."
Mandela: "Oh Really?"

Bush: "Do you eat jam with the bread?"

Mandela: "Of course."
Bush (chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth): "We don't.In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the peels,seedsand left over's into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to South Africa."

Mandela: "Do you have sex in America?"

Bush: "Of course we do."

Mandela: "And what do you do with the condoms?"

Bush: "Throw them away of course."

Mandela: "We don't. We pack them into containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to America."