Why men can pee standing up

God was just about done creating humans but he found he had two parts left over.

He could'nt decide how to split them up between Adam and Eve so he thought he would ask them.
He told them that one of the things he had left would allow the owner to pee while standing up.

"It's a very handy thing" God told them
"and i was wondering if either of you had a preference for it".

Well Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly he could have it.

So god gave Adam the thing that would allow him to pee standing up.

Adam was so excited he just started peeing all over the place,first on the side of a rock,then he wrote his name in the sand then he tried to hit a stump ten feet away-laughing with delight all the while. God and Eve watched with amusement and then God said to Eve,
"Well i guess you're stuck with the last thing i have left".

"What's it called?" asked Eve.

"BRAINS",said God.

Rejected titles for "Brokeback Mountain":

OKLAHOMO

HIGH NOONER

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN INCHES

JEREMIAH'S JOHNSON

POLESMOKE

BUTCH ASSIDY AND THE BUNDANCE KID

THE MAN WHO SHOT ALL OVER LIBERTY VALANCE

HOW THE WEST WAS HUNG

THE LEGEND OF THE LONG RANGER

DOC'S HOLIDAY WITH BILLY THE KID

VERY RAW HIDE

LONESOME DOUG

A FISTFUL OF NED

HI, PLAINS DRIFTER!

QUICKLY DOWN UNDER

BAREBACK MOUNTING

BONE-NANZA

DON'T MESS WITH TEX' ASS

HOME ON THE RANGER

ROOSTER COCKBURN

PRANCES WITH WOLVES

BALONEY PONY RODEO

TUBESTEAK COWBOYS

and last but not least

HOMO ON THE RANGE

boner mountain.
the good, the bad, the queer
Hard guns
A fistfull of condoms

Dear Wife,
You will sure understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.
Therefore after reading this fax, you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be perturbed.
I shall be back home before midnight.
Honestly,
Your Husband.X

Reply by the wife:
My Dear Husband,
I received your fax and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old.
At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael my tennis coach, who, like your secretary, is also 18-years old.
As a successful businessman with your excellent knowledge of math's, you will understand that we are in a same situation, although with one small difference.

18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore, I will not be back before lunchtime tomorrow!
Your Dear Wife XX