Assorted Part 1

1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says 'If you behave like this, you
will lose ALL your friends.'
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2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'....
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....
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3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without
Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'
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4. Importance of a period
Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got
a heart attack & our driver ran away.'
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5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and
confidential? ' Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your
friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!
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6. Anger management?
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control
your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .'